Saturday, January 3, 2009

A cold day

Today is one cold day. I cannot remember the last time I was this cold. Its getting cold again. WHY! I kinda want it to rain.

How I feel today?

For some reason, I feel kinda lonely. I have no idea why. I went to play badminton with bf and his friends. No reasons to feel lonely right. My right arm is hurting so I didnt play much.

I hate it when couples act so close in front of their friends and calling each other names that I just cannot stand. you know, those couple names that only couples call each other. Not to be mean now but GET A ROOM. I sat in front of them and thats kinda not a good thing. Its really sweet that they're showing each other how much they love each other but please, show some respect to your friends and not show that to us. We dont need to see any action or hear anything.

I always feel unappreciated. I don't know why I always feel that way. It's an expectation. I am trying to stop having any kind of expectation for anything because its bad to have any. When you get what you want, of course you're happy BUT when you don't, that's when it sucks.

I am so straightforward about everything. I will tell you if I dont like something. I always try my best to understand the inner me. In fact, I think I understand it a little too much. I know what I want and I know what I like and dislike. That sounds like a good thing but at times, its bad. Things cannot always go the way I want it and when it doesnt, I get upset because I know what I want and dislike. AND thats bad... for example my bf, whenever I feel upset and mad or whatever I feel, I will for sure let him know. He dont see it as sharing and communicating, (I think) he may see it more like whinning and complaining. Eventually, he gets annoyed.

I am the kind of person that I need to share my bad feelings in order to feel better. I dont like that about myself. I really want to keep some of the stuff to myself but it is bad to keep it.

NEW YEAR resolution --> be less straightforward and try to stop sharing your feelings with others.

However, I still feel thankful for being who I am today. I know how to appreciate and I know how to be thankful. Although, I may complain or whin about this and that, I am still thankful. I am not prefect. I am only a human.

1 comment:

Danny T. said...

Why are your posts so depressing J.!?!? Cheer up, it's a new year, why so serious!?!? Also this is kind of disturbing, "NEW YEAR resolution --> be less straightforward and try to stop sharing your feelings with others". The first part of the quote is understanding, but the second part just doesn't seem right. Your a person who likes to talk and express your feelings and i think it's a good thing, why would you like to suffer alone when your friends can be there to help you out. Anyways, be yourself, don't change your ways just because people wants you to be different. Stay HAPPY =]